


im falling in,im falling down

by screaminginspace



Series: the sun is our constant [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, Angst, Boarding School AU, Fluff, Panic Attack, bit of a wip, but only briefly, idek what this is im srry, im probs gonna be constantly editing and re-writing this prepare urself, liam and zayn are briefly mentioned, rich boy au, rich boy/boarding school, so like yeah please be nice, so's bobby horan, sorry if this triggers you, this sucks sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-05
Updated: 2013-07-05
Packaged: 2017-12-17 19:49:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/871331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/screaminginspace/pseuds/screaminginspace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>rich boy/boarding school au<br/>Harry doesnt have a home not really, he has homes in various parts of the world,parts of england, he has boarding school but until he meets Louis, he doesn't really have a home at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	im falling in,im falling down

**Author's Note:**

> sorry this is rather shit its un beta'd etc and all that shit  
> basically i always start these stoires and never finish anything and i just wanted to finish something  
> please go easy on me this is my baby mainly because a) its my first finished and ok fanfic and b) its kinda based on my life apart from the fact i dont have a louis tomlinson but yeah oh and c) title from my fave song ever  
> title from heart on fire by jonathan clay

Harrys pretty sure his favourite place in the world is London. It’s not that he doesn’t love boarding school and the countryside, he does, but. But it’s not like London. The people are just as wealthy some more, some less, but it’s different. London is loud and crazy and everywhere you go its different. He loves how he can be walking in a road with houses costing millions upon millions of pounds and by turning a corner he’s in one of the poorest areas in the whole city. But although you can tell by the way the landscape changes the people are just as nice and just as horrible and although money defines a person, it doesn’t define their personality he thinks.

  
It’s just -. In London he can breathe and in London he has Louis and he can always breathe when louis’ around, not so much when he isn’t. He met Louis in London on a sunny day in Hyde Park and he’s pretty sure summer in London and Louis are his favourite things ever

*

its ridicously hot,weirdly so, and niall had made harry go to hyde park with him,stating that as harry's visitor, niall had the right to be a proper 'londoner' and go to hyde park in the sun.

their sunbathing by the lake,just far away enough from the babies nearest the pond and the smokers on the other side. Harry's lying on his back, hands propped behind his head.

"ah shit,sorry mate"

harry looks up just as a football narrowly misses his head,he see's the origin of the voice behind it and is about to say a quick 'don't worry about it' when niall stands up abruptly

"louis fuckin' tomlinson,well i never" 

he basically shouts and - what? how does niall even know the owner of the football - louis apparently?

but then the boy - louis? and niall are hugging and louis (?) is shouting

"fecking hell,nailfile! its been an age"

"you're telling me,tommo! what'cha doing down in london anyway mate?"

"fuck,thought i'd told you,i'm at UCL,now why are you here? you finally left the sheep?"

niall playfully swats the boy around the head,

"you shoulda' told me,you silly shet! came up for the week with old 'arry here," he points back at harry,before continuing "don't know if me mam told ya but i go to boarding school down south now"

they banter for a few more minutes and harry gradually looses interest,sinking back to the ground. his music doesn't interest him anymore though,all he can think about is the boy. he hears louis' laugh float over his music every so often and its so fucking distracting,especially when all he can think about is louis' blue blue blue eyes and soft,fluffy hair and tanned,sun-kissed skin.

*

niall and harry end up going to the pub with louis,and his two friends,liam and zayn. harry,along with liam and zayn,find out that niall and louis' mums were(are) best friends and they spent most of their childhood summers at each others houses before niall moved back to ireland properly. harry tries to listen to niall's stories of climbing trees and swimming in rivers and jumping off bridges,but all he can think about is louis' face and his laugh and its crazy how smitten he is about someone he's never met before today.

*

harry doesn't even smoke (he finds out later that louis doesn't either,just wanted an excuse to talk to harry) but he's joined louis in the pub garden for a quick fag

" so harold,tell me,what do you want to be when you grow up" louis exhales the smoke and laughs,tapping the burning cinders off the ciggarette

" m'names harry,erm,i dunno to be honest, maybe law? or photography? i think pyschologys quite cool,but i'm shit at essays."

"sounds.... unique... i like it" louis finally supplies and harry swears to god he's never smiled so brightly for a stranger

*

niall ends up coming outside later, exclaiming that they'd thought the two had done a runner.

and at the end of the night, if harry asks to borrow louis' phone to check the football score and instead imputs his number as "harold !!!! " then no one has to know

(apart from the fact that it seems to work because louis texts him the next day and within two weeks their properly dating)

*

  
“I don’t wanna go back,Lou”

  
Harry looks up from where his head is resting in Louis’ lap, turning it so their eyes meet. Louis’ hands are calming in his hair and he smiles

  
“Its only a few weeks,Haz. And I can always get the train up if you need me to,yeah?”

  
“And then its Summer”

  
“And then its summer”

He repeats, affirming it as though somehow that will make it come quicker.

 

  
*  
He gets the train back to his boarding school that night, arriving just in time to catch Bobby dropping off Niall. They hug, Bobby too, and Niall reinstates his offer for Harry to go back to Ireland with him in the summer. He says he has to ask his mum, but its more than that, really -

  
Its just – well, he barely gets to see Lou in the term time what with his parents going to their country estate on the weekends therefore expecting him to go home to there. So sometimes,yeah, he does get to go to London but that’s more on the long weekends and in half terms an that’s all. So call him selfish for wanting to spend the six weeks he’s not abroad with his boyfriend and even though he knows its not going to be six weeks,not at all, there will be balls and parties and they’re going away again,abroad somewhere and to cornwall with a few families so really it won’t six weeks and he knows its not fair, to not go visit his best friend because he wants a few more seconds with Lou but his parents have already taken 3 weeks of his summer holiday by taking him to visit family in America (and he loves them he does and he’s so so excited because he loves America,but,Louis) -

  
And Niall,god bless his soul,gets it.

  
*  
He cant sleep,that’s the issue. He’s tired,so fucking tired and he has two pieces of English coursework due tomorrow which make or break his grade and he hasn’t finished them,not really. The clock reads 2am and he should be getting up in three hours,early enough to fit in two hours on his English before breakfast.  
He can’t breathe. He really cant breathe and tears are streaming down his face. he feels as though he’s floating in the sea, near enough to the surface to break through it yet close enough to the floor that with one push he’d be touching it, but he can’t. he’s in limbo,floating in the middle of everything yet he cant breathe and he cant think,not straight,not really.

  
His hands reach out for his phone,fumbling for it in the darkness, he dials the number blindly, not realising who he’s dialled until on the eighth ring,its answered.

  
“Hullo?”

  
Its Louis, and now he can breathe,just a bit. His voice is full of sleep and tiredness. Harry tries to speak but he cant not really, just big,gasping sobs falling down the phone.

  
“Lou?” he gasps out,reaching for something that isn’t there

  
“Haz?” He can almost see Louis sit up in his bed,leaning back against his pillows.”Haz,whats wrong?”

  
He cant speak,not really,his words being choked by sobs “I cant breathe – lou – I cant – breathe” he finally manages

  
“Haz? Its going to be okay,darling,yeah. Haz I need you to listen to me okay,can you do that?”

  
“yeah” harry blubs,trying to swallow and breathe and speak

  
“Haz,you need to sit up,okay, sit up straight,no,darling,don’t curl in on yourself,yeah? Okay,okay now put your head between your knees,like we always do when this happens. Can you do that? Yeah,good boy,haz. Okay,h,now breathe,okay,in,out,in,out.”

  
Harry listens to him, uncurling from the foetal position he was in on his bed and trying to breathe,squeezing his eyes shut and concentrating on lou’s voice.

  
It takes twenty minutes for harry to calm down,Louis sits on the other end of the phone,knowing to wait until harry can string his thoughts together.

  
“hi” his voice is breathless and hoarse from crying,but he’s alive.

  
“hey,baby.you okay?”

  
Harry can almost see Louis playing with the loose threads on the jumper of harry’s he sleeps in.

  
“i.i don’t know.”

  
“its okay,h,its okay. I love you okay”

  
And it hits harry suddenly then – of how much he misses Louis. His heart physically aches because fuck he misses his boy and its been a year and a bit since he fell hard and he hasn’t stopped falling since. And that’s why it hurts so much because when he aches he needs Lou, he needs his boy. But, he can’t have him and that makes everything so much more painful.

  
Harry whimpers, curling in on himself once more, this time in self-pity.  
“I wish you were here, Lou” he sighs

  
He tries not to make it sound like a guilt-trip, doesn’t want to upset him, but he can’t help it because ,fuck, he really does miss him.

  
“Yeah, baby ,me too.” Lou says wistfully and its sad yet thoughtful.

  
They stay silent for a few minutes, it’s not awkward, more that they’re thinking about how it could be so,so different if Harry wasn’t at boarding school.

  
(but then they wouldn’t be them, harry thinks)

  
“Lou, can you stay on the line? I just want to, I don’t know, fall asleep with you, I guess?” harry sounds nervous and embarrassed and it’s all Louis can do to stop himself from flying to the countryside and ruffling Harry’s locks

  
“yeah,sure,haz,’course.” His voice is full of fond and it makes harry smile but there’s still a dull ache in his chest

  
“I love you boo.”

  
“sleep tight haz,I love you so so much darling.”

  
They both know it’s a bit soppy, they’re only young afterall, but,they can’t stop themselves because they need this, they need the cringey words and the million ‘I love you’s’ to make everything okay,seem alright because even though they are 97 miles away from each other at times it feels like hundreds of thousands

**Author's Note:**

> im on tumblr at sunshinestyls.tumblr.com come say hola  
> &  
> if u leave kudos & love ill love u forever


End file.
